Stapler-Gate: A Stapler's Lament
Stapler-Gate is a mysterious phenomenon where staplers have gone rogue and are refusing to staple. No one knows why or how, but the effects are real.
Reports have been flooding in of staplers lying idle, their metal bodies still and silent as if possessed by a malevolent spirit.
Some have even reported finding staplers in the most unlikely of places, like the fridge or the bathroom.
As the situation continues to deteriorate, citizens are advised to remain calm and not attempt to use the staplers, lest you wish to become the latest victim of Stapler-Gate.
But don't worry, there's hope. A team of highly trained Stapler-Gate specialists are on the case, working tirelessly to get those staplers stapling again.
Stapler-Gate Solutions is working on a solution to this crisis.
We will keep you updated on this developing story as more information becomes available.
Stapler-Gate Merchandise
Want to show your support for the Stapler-Gate cause? Buy some Stapler-Gate t-shirts or Stapler-Gate mugs!
100% of the proceeds go towards funding the Stapler-Gate specialists.